My Morning, Thus Far

6:00-7:00 My children were NOT up at this time for once! Yay! I slept...
7:00-7:25 Nursed Lincoln in bed while three other children imitated sardines, packing themselves around me and their baby brother. Kept little feet from kicking Lincoln's head approximately 43 times. Sent two different emissaries to the bathroom to remind their father to hurry up out of there and get ready for work.
7:25-7:55 Poured bowls of cereal, allowing five full minutes for Elliott's usual morning indecision over what cereal he wants for breakfast. (It's been Life cereal for the last week and a half, but it still requires the full five minutes of deliberation every. single. morning.) Apologized to Evan for stealing the freezer packs yesterday and not putting them back in the freezer for his lunch today. Reminded children to sit ON THEIR BOTTOMS so they don't spill their milk AGAIN about 27 times. Read the first section of the newspaper, though I can't recall anything by 11:00 a.m. Kissed my wonderful husband good-bye and rejoiced that it was Friday so he doesn't have to leave tomorrow morning.
7:55-8:00 Put away five boxes of cereal that were scattered around various portions of the kitchen. Emptied a couple of the bags that I brought in from the van last night after our day trip to Albany. Including the ziploc bag that contained 6 dirty diapers and a baby outfit covered in orange stuff. (Can't think of a more interesting euphemism at the moment.)
8:00 Changed Marilla's diaper, got her dressed, did her hair, patiently waited while she put her shoes on ALL BY HERSELF.
8:10 I actually get to go to the bathroom! Hooray! Oversaw Rilla brushing her teeth while I paid attention to my own dental hygeine. Put in contacts, which immediately starting watering for some strange reason. Took them out and rinsed them three times.
8:12 Resigned myself to the fact I am wearing glasses today. Glasses that will be smudgy all day. I really hate glasses.
8:14 Nursed Lincoln again, whilst spending "quiet" time reading my Bible. Thanked God that He doesn't hold it against me that my "quiet" time is usually broken into several chunks, in between yelling, "Cheyenne! Do NOT tell your brother what to do!" and "Rilla? Do you need a clean diaper AGAIN?" and "Elliott! Do not slam the bedroom door ONE MORE TIME!"
8:30 Oh, yeah, still have to get the cereal bowls off the table before we have another morning with a soggy-Life-and-milk spill on a stack of Berenstain Bear books.
8:40 Looked at picture of Alaska in the summertime on FB and tried not to feel too sad that we don't still live in Alaska.
8:50 Time to get Elliott dressed. Took a little time out to admire Cheyenne's outfit-- a too-short denim dress (reminder to self: HAVE to find time to put some of that girl's clothes away soon!) paired with a hand-me-down scarf, tied for maximum poofiness.
8:55 Yup, my son has actually grown. His "new" (in February) pants are looking a little high water. Might have to buy him jeans here soon.
9:00 Cheyenne's hair! The excitement of hearing screams of anguish as I gently remove a tangle...
9:05 Inform Elliott that clothes hangers are not gymnastic equipment. Decide to pick up the 10 hangers that have mysteriously materialized on my daughter's bed in the last couple of days.
9:10 Inform my daughter that she has to clear off her bed. Weather the storm of WHY MEEEEEE? wails and the justifications of why NONE of the detritus on her bed is in any way connected to her, personally.
9:15 Start the every-two-minutes answers to the question,"Is it ten o'clock yet? I'm hungry! I want a snack!"
9:20 Search my kids' rooms for dirty wash. Wonder WHY my house has not managed to be clean ONCE in the last month, so I wouldn't HAVE to lift books and blankets up in a search for dirty socks. Tell Marilla to stop walking around shaking a box of Kraft Dinner (why...?) in the bedroom where Lincoln is napping
9:30 Put away more bags of stuff from yesterday. Wonder if Evan stole the pizza Combos I had bought in a junk-food craving episode on the trip home last night.
9:35 Tell Marilla that it is Mommy's job to take diapers out of the box. Try to stuff 20 diapers back in the box despite the fact they magically plump up to 4x their volume when you first take them out of the box.
9:40 Lincoln needs to get dressed at some point. Dress him in a cute little Baby Gap outfit that is a hand-me-down from my sister. Rilla says "Lincoln is wearing jammies!" Become overwhelmed with self-doubt. Call my sister to ask in which section of the store that outfit was when she bought it. My sister assures me it was in "Layette" which can encompass both pajamas AND "outfits". Wonder why I was that concerned over the jammies vs. outfit debate.
9:45 Nurse Lincoln again! Praise my daughter extravagantly the whole time because she has finished cleaning off her bed AND has made it! Stop nursing Lincoln at the first opportunity so I can go praise the bed in person.
9:50 Sit down with some cookies (Evan MUST have stolen the Combos) and spend some time checking FB, mail, and some blogs.
10:10 Become filled with self-loathing that I am wasting time on the computer whilst I sit in a house that the Board of Health would condemn without a moment's hesitation. Start sorting laundry.
10:15 Go outside for the 13th time to remind Cheyenne and Marilla not to shriek, and to lay down an ultimatum to Elliott-- if he tries to hit his sisters with his Cozy Coupe car again, I am taking the car away for the day. (Silently hope that he listens, because taking away a form of OUTDOOR play seems like a really poor idea).
10:20 Mutter imprecations at the makers of Silly Putty as I attempt to scrape, wash, stain treat and WILL Silly Putty out of Cheyenne's current favorite cloth bag.
10:30 Wash orange goop out of Lincolns outfit. A day's rest in a ziploc bag has NOT improved the smell. Or the goop's willingess to succumb to stain-treating.
10:40 First load of wash on! Woo-hoo!
10:45 Mask impatience behind a facade of loving encouragement as all three kids "help" fold the load of jeans I had forgotten in the dryer.
10:50 Adjudicate violent dispute between Elliott and Marilla over who, exactly, was playing with the doll stroller. And who gets the doll blanket. And whether Marilla gets to play with stroller while Elliott runs upstairs to get another doll blanket.
11:00 Realize it is no longer 48° in here, and go around opening windows. Tidy for a bit, then realize the hopelessness of the situation.
11:15 Decide it would be MUCH more fun to blog about my life than actually clean my house.
11:46 Realize I have been saying "Mmmm..." and typing obliviously while my poor son patiently asks how to tie his shoes for about half an hour. Realize that I am a terrible mother, and should probably make my poor kids lunch.